A Clogged Pipe Made Me Cry, so I Kicked it's Ass.

I write when I'm miserable.
I guess.
I started this blog two years ago, and made two entries.
Then I found an amazing new job, it took up a ton of my time, pays well, and writing went to the wayside. It's still a bit of a struggle, but it's a much needed outlet for me at the moment. Let's see- starting July 24th, here's been my last few weeks. Pregnant, my man broke up with me (sort of, I thought we were a couple, he said he couldn't see us as a couple, but I'm his best friend), had to borrow money from my parents to pay my mortgage, miscarriage (2nd in 4 years), grandma died, pipes clogged, maladjusted elderly chiuauah (I can't spell it) who was my grandma's constant companion rehomed with the old non-boyfriend boyfriend but he's afraid of the NBB loves me, and my satellite radio is broken. I'm overwhelmed. I don't know what I'm feeling one moment to the next- I haven't been able to properly mourn the unborn baby, my grandma, nor the loss of love. There's just too much going on.



So... here I am again. I'm planning on doing this often, the blogging that is.. because I'm interested in how I'm going to manage... I want a record of it. I tried thinking of my life as a movie plot... what would be the next scene? What happens now? Well, in modern movies, the girl either gets the guy, or she instantly moves on and meets someone wonderful and new... the girl goes to the funeral, has a half hour of wonderful grandmotherly memories, then moves on. I'm not sure how the movies portray recovery after a miscarriage... probably the girl picks herself up, accepts that it happened and tries again, ends up with a happy healthy baby and loving husband. This is why I hate Romance flicks, and RomComs- unrealistic. I will explain the NBB someday. I will talk myself out of this funk- is this a funk? My faith in anything has been severely damaged from my past, it's a struggle for me to believe there is a God, and that he cares about us. I'm trying to tell myself that God wouldn't put shit on me if I couldn't handle it.. but sometimes I think God is just wondering what my breaking point is.. The clogged pipe was a horrible fucking piece of straw, it didn't break this camel's back but if deffinately made it sway...

Breath in and out.
In.
Out.

Learned that from Sleepless in Seattle.