Breathing is all I can manage to do... I have a meltdown a couple times a week... I feel like I've lost a huge part of myself and I don't know what to do anymore...
I had a nearly 7 hour drive yesterday. The last two hours I spent bawling, I tried screaming to get the tension out- I was alone, the window was down and it was dark so why the hell not. The sound of my own scream freaked me out even worse. It was awful. It wasn't what I was expecting it to sound like- I thought it would be a mad/frustrated sound. It was sad, it was a cry of pain.
I meditate every day. I calm myself before going to bed with some colorful visualizations, which really do relax me.
Whenever my bestie L gets upset, I tell her just to breath in and breath out- she used my own words on me today. I told her it was nice to have a reminder now and then.. . Sometimes I feel it's the only thing I can control, my breathe.
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